and the one shown below is his all-time favourite (;
You know, it was the last day of school's term one yesterday.
and indeed it had been a hell of a topsy-turvy seven weeks back.
I've had tears, joy, angst, mixed feelings and more.
But having the holidays entering now, I'm finally going to have a slight breather.
Despite many things happening, basically, the gist is actually this :
Nicholas and I bid our hearts goodbye on 9th May '09,
and since then, I haven't really got the chance to focus well in class ;
for this, I've made too many changes to prove that I could go on without him.
And to rub salt into my wound, I'm especially devastated for it.
But I know, he wasn't any better too, as read from his blog.
However, I can openly confess that our sources of happiness aren't coming easy,
but I just hope Nicholas will be okay soon.
However, in second thought, he may already be okay, I'm not sure.
Nevertheless, I admit that I've broken down into tears over him now and then.
To add, I actually still hug his two precious teddies to sleep every night.
Even more, I still think of him ; like how he is and stuff like that.
But for all, I've yet to call, to text, to confess and to confide in him.
And all I've done is to rant here, and probably keep a minor bit to myself.
Or rather, let him find out here for himself!
It might have already been too late, but better than nothing though.
Sometimes, even though how much I yearn to just be there for him ;
feeling his aura near me, hearing his subtle heartbeat,
having his warmth right by my side, having his smile directed to me,
having everything of his unconditionally,
hearing him talk / rant until countless days break in,
but he doesn't allow me to do and/or have it at all.
Nevertheless, I must get over it all, or rather, everything still goes on ;
in spite of myself, perhaps, being right behind time, or perhaps frozen at a stop.
Like how people say, we can't cry over spilt milk ;
for once it has spilt, it can never be stored back in the carton anymore.
And how people bluntly say ; once it's done, it can't be undone again.
But all in all, I must really thank the people out there ;
for helping me, in one way or other.
Thanks for letting me rant, thanks for consoling, thanks for advising,
thanks for making me laugh over the things I thought I could never laugh over.
And those people have to be,
Family, duh! To my closest three friends, to the all-different-clique-of-12 at 3B27,
to other friends of mine (in or out of poly), to a few other randoms and etc.
-----
After it all, I'm finally going to attempt bringing myself on.
Oh yes, happy 3-week holidays to all SP-ians!
And for the rest, it could be either belated or advanced! (;
Postscript ; You know ?
Even though we're hardly chatting now ;
but I still miss you, now and then, and so, do you miss me too ?
Until today, I still keep your texts, those that you messaged me.
To be frank, I followed that condition almost entirely for love,
but will that change anything ? Will that break the barrier between us ?
But for you, for all, and for myself ;
I'll bring my heart on, having you at the small corner of my heart ;
I'll never forget you; but just let your happy subtleties stay.
On the contrary, if our paths were to ever meet again,
we'd have a better bond, we'd smile to each other,
we'd fall in love all over again,
maybe even deeper than the first time. Right ? (;
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