Through the last couple of days, with inclusion of the weekend, I've been feeling ohsogawddamn bored, and probably am leading the most mundane days of my life ever. I'm not holding a job now, nor studying in a particular institution; I'm not generating any income for the family, nor having the pressure exerted by lecturers on my shoulders. It's really getting worrying, 'cause so much for once having the mentality to excel personally in life, I'm already having the feeling that I'm starting to fall backwards. It's not just about my general life I'm talking about, even in love, or even in my personal aspirations and ambitions. Goodness.
Just a couple of days back, I received several missed calls from International Flavours and Fragrances (IFF), but called back to find out that I was called for an interview this coming Thursday. I was kindof ecstatic, like it was the dream job finally "calling" in. Well, that wasn't all. At first, I received the address of the interview place being at Boon Lay area, and my dad gave me a hell of a story; let's put it in a summary, he told me that I wasn't good in the science course at all, and proclaims I'm better at the business (or service) sector, and ask me to go for that instead of something relating to my diploma. To add, honestly speaking, even my father himself dropped his degree of discipline, and worked as a money broker, but now taxi driver. Well, true enough, I do agree with the fact that I'm the kind of person who prefers to talk, multi-task and being in an outgoing environment, to being in an quiet and independent one. Nevertheless, I don't actually see the wrong in trying out a job of your discipline just for the sake of experience. But, there was a turn of events, the interview venue's changed to Buona Vista - Science Park (which is better I suppose). Nevertheless, I do really hope I'll get this job. Even though my parents say they're not rushing me to find a job, but I'm rushing myself. I'm tired of remaining jobless now. It just bores me out.
Just to add on - Frankly speaking, I don't see myself being in a laboratory (where I'd be doing experiments quietly) for the long run. Thinking about it, none of you readers or friends or bestfriends actually knew what's my true ambition for the lifetime. I've not told anyone that at all, but well, maybe I will right here. My ambition is to manage a chemical company, no matter whether it's fragrance and flavours, or quality-assurance, or cosmecutical. I want to be a manager, holding a degree (a bachelor at least - with honours if possible), and having a good successful career, and being able to take care of my family. Look, even I am intending to change route, but it's just I'm kindof hindered (by my parents) from studying further, FOR NOW. I know it's going to be for now only.
My ambition aside; I think, feel and know that a lot of people have been backstabbing/talking/gossiping about my messed up love life. To be frank, I don't give a hoot about you all are saying - just don't let me hear about it, unless it's something that you want to have an answer to, or something you're curious over - and by the way, I'm actually willing to entertain all questions and answers regarding my love life. It's not anything to hide anyway, 'cause I'm open to it already. I believe many people know about (him) and I, so yes. It's been a year, or slightly over, since we've had this mess anyway. But better still, Or, if you're not happy having the acknowledgement about it, then ignore it, and destroy the memory of it. Ignorance is bliss anyway, right? Speaking about it, I was told that one felt as if I and (him) are more in love than herself and her boyfriend. ~.~ Thinking about it, if that was really the case, and knowing that him and I aren't together, but she and her boyfriend are still on, then there must be something seriously wrong with the relationship already. She ought to go do some repairing and soul-searching man, hoho!
Little did I expect, even my bestfriend is being substandard to me right now - probably is for the fact that I've once backstabbed/gossiped about her so much last time (that was years ago though!) that it's coming back to me as karma now; or simply putting it, what goes around, comes around. She can even go around telling my other girlfriend flaws about myself, which I already know. It's not that I'm cheesed off or anything, but it's just - why can't you just tell me straight in the face, and act like a real woman? I don't know why people these days are acting to become hypocrites and even going to the extent of competing of who's the better hypocrite. Well, I don't deny I am one, 'cause I've been one since a long time ago, but I don't show it really often. I used to be someone who shoots at everyone when I'm unhappy, now I'm trying to keep quiet and become a slightly better person. Seriously, I don't know what is her gawddamn issue right now. To be frank, I'm not even surprised if I go into enmity with her for the third time coming this time round, 'cause I'm already into the mode of giving her a piece of my mind any day.
I don't know what is going to go on next. I'm even meeting her later ~.~
P.S Sometimes I'll just appreciate if people keep silent about their own opinions. It's just annoying to hear people backstabbing and acting like hypocrites to compete who's the better one.
P.P.S You don't know how much I just feel like confiding in you all over again, 'cause you were that listening ear which coloured my life through the mundane moments I've once had two years back, which I'm having right now. Aww damn, I'm starting to miss you.
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