you all scare me.

after hope, i still have to put it on;
walk with my three legs instead of two.
i'd love someone to depend on, for as long as i live.
but if that's not possible, please let me free.



i've been feeling the boundary between you and i,
since the very day i fell and had my ankle fractured.
i really do hope what i see / feel now is just my imagination,
sadly, it just feels so real and i need to pen this down to relieve it.

i don't want to be the ragdoll you stab needles on;
i don't want to be punched like a boxing bolster will;
i don't want to be looked at as if i'm your enemy;
but instead love me and value me for who i am.

your hostile expression demean me.
your emo expression just make my eyes water.
your anger makes me feel so much fear for you.
now, i push myself further the distance just to not make you worry.

.
.

anyways, i've went to the specialist today - it was pretty casual (:
my mum seems to like this specialist a lot, lol.
she laughed, like the whole time.

well, i still have to put my cast on ):
and now it's a harder one than last time,
except that i won't be missing lessons amymore ;
but the inconvenience is still there.

sigh, i know my whole family isn't happy with it -
and they hate me for acting as queen, whatever :/
i doubt they care much about how i feel anyway,
since every time they rant it right at my face.
but i hate it more than you all do, and i suffer more.

we've distanced, i admit. we have.

.
.

postscript, if giving off your unconditional love is so hard;
please let me feel free to let you go.
i'd rather be as single as a solo bird will fly.

i need to fly, fly to somewhere far from hostility.