the way he made love to be.

i was just thinking about the quarrel i and nicholas had yesterday.
the one about unconditional love being my fantasy and stuff;
do you think it's a fantasy in your eyes ?

love is simply give and take, we accept and give in.
love teaches us to sacrifice for someone we admire.
love simply is something, so wonderful but killing.

we have to trust, love and sacrifice -
and i assume, i suck at sacrificing and giving in to him :(
sigh, when can i just get that part right ?

the thing that boiled me was, he said -
if i wanted affection in fantasy form of splurging money and stuff,
i can look for twilight; this is totally like what the fuck.

lol, thank gawd i got over it.
i actually like cried my ass out for this piece of shit.

.
.

since i've been on the rocks with nicholas,
and i wanna assure him so bad so bad until i want to die -
i want to see a smile on his face, and have no more quarrels.
so here goes :

i'm not the kind who likes expressing love verbally - i rather give heavy impacts.
i prefer to do it through simple gestures, a smile and a hold of your hand.
i prefer to express my love on pieces of paper using pen or pencil.
i like to jot down my every feeling, through poetry or letters.
they give much more impact to the heart, mind and soul than verbal ones -
given that my head had a big knock, i don't remember them as much as last time.

i don't do nonsensical cheesy stuff unless they're worth my efforts.
and i prefer my personal impression of you as confidential (:
cuz i want you to just believe in me, that i love you.

i need your belief, your support to make this relationship go on.
or else, i'll just let myself fly singly and let you go.

.
.

dr lim has been asking me not to give up,
nick has been asking me not to give up.
aiya, basically i've been telling myself that too.

i'll try my best; i feel like i'm lagging right behind all.
asshole, i need to run faster to catch up with the team.
wait for me you all, time won't wait for me for long.

so till then (:

let me catch up with you, make me run faster.